Affections Received
by SuicidalSmile
Summary: Seven says the best things. Mean things sometimes but the best things nonetheless. And for every one, may they be whispered against skin, yelled in anger, or mumbled in sleep you love them all. You love him. And he, lives for you. -drabbles and endless fluff and smut bc my heart hurts-happy/happy good times :-)
1. Chapter 1

**so im mystic messenger trash now. and 707 is the best. soft boi, lovely boi. fluff for days**

You find him _so_ interesting. A breath of fresh air to free you from your stale days. Before the RFA you lead a uninteresting life, working fulltime as an office worker your days were a continuous neverending cycle of repetitive activities. When you'd received that anonymous text you knew it was suspicious, yet you consented to lend a hand anyhow. A part of you knew it was incredibly foolhardy, to go to an unknown house with vague directions from a stranger. Yet you couldn't help but be excitedl, nothing like this ever happened to you. Then you met them, the RFA, your friends. They were kind, even under such odd circumstances they opened up to you, joked with you, and included you. They seemed happy for your presence and welcomed your opinions, that hadn't happened in a long time. Yoosung, he was younger than yourself and so open hearted and kind. Jaehee, smart and calculated you respected her diligence. Zen, flirtatious and warm he was charming beyond words. Jumin, blunt and solem treated you kindly and allowed you in. Lastly, Seven- Hacker God, jokester supreme, he grew on you so quickly.

Long ago, before corporate work stole your personality, you were like Seven. In high school you'd been the class clown type, amongst the girls you were always the one cracking jokes and poking fun. Everything Seven said elicited a giggle from you, it was infectious. You were on your phone more frequently than ever, checking to see if he was online, if he'd texted you- _anything_. You tried to suppress how much you liked him, you flirted with him endlessly but almost always disguised by jest. He didn't seem to mind though, he played along, well _sometimes_ he did.

Seven was hard to read, another point of fascination. Sometimes he rose to your flirts, saying something equally coy, but then he'd play it off as if it didn't happen. It infuriated you endlessly, you longed to be taken sincerely. The others saw the chemistry, commenting on how much you two had in common, that you should just date already. It was early, you'd known each other mere days, yet you couldn't deny your excitement. With Seven, in your imaginary dreams, everything was fun and you laughed. Dream-Seven wasn't as funny as reality-Seven, but he was close.

A ding, a notification. You check your messages, Zen sent you an after practice selfie. You send a sunglasses emoji, he responds immediately.

"LOL that's something Seven would send."

You blink at his message, pleased at the comparison.

"Really?" You send back, hoping Zen clarifies his statement.

"ye, he always uses weird emoji's like that."

You smile, knowing this to be true. You type back another string of emoji's, hoping Zen enjoys them as much as you and Seven. Just as you place your phone aside it's vibrating again, bouncing along the sheets.

"Hello?" You answer, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello loyal fan, this is a special call from God Seven Oh Seven~ you're the winner of our contest. What would you like as your consolation prize?" It's Seven, his voice pitched as he dramatically speaks into your ear. You can almost picture the crooked smile on his face on the other end.

"A prize? Can it be anything?" You ask coquettishly, playing along.

"Affirmative! Anything you desire valued client~" Comes his response, you can hear him typing in the background of the call. He's still working?

"Hmm, if it can be anything lemme think. . . " You whisper, finger absentmindedly twirling a stray lock of hair. "How about a kiss?"

A pause, his fingers stopped working. "A kiss?" He breathes, his voice has dropped the lilt.

"Mhmm, a single little kiss." You purr.

Seven coughs into the phone nervously, "b-but I'm not there with you-how would I do that?"

You giggle, he's nervousness is incredibly adorable. "Get creative."

A shaky chuckle, "of course, anything for our loyal clientele. Here it goes . . . "

"I'm waiting~"

" _Muah_." He purses his lips, making kissy sounds.

"Now there's tongue," You tell him, heat pooling in your stomach.

"T-tongue?" He squeaks, "yes! Tongue! Of course!" Seven then makes loud smacking noises, humming softly, licking his lips noisily.

"Butterfly kisses now."

Seven isn't complaining anymore but listening to your instructions, through the receiver he makes delicate smooching sounds. With your eyes closed you can almost pretend they're against own your skin and not the backside of his hand.

Breathless you speak again, "You're a good kisser, God Seven."

An embarrassed titter, "ya think so?"

"Mmhmm. The _best_."

A throaty chuckle, "only the best for our greatest customer. Now unfortunately you've received your prize and God Seven must return to his hectic timetable. So many adoring fans to meet, so many autographs to give." He pauses, you can hear his breath hitch momentarily. "Don't worry though, none of them will receive a prize like yours."

It's a promise, a half hearted confession. You smile, humbled by his cuteness. "Well I appreciate it, God Seven. Your loyal customer signing out~!"

"Good bye for now fan! Remember to think of God Seven often!"

"Always." And then you hang up, clutching the phone to your chest.

It wasn't quite what you wanted but your heart races regardless, you glance at the clock, 10:43pm. Sighing you roll over, there was no way you could sleep now.

 **thanks for reading please tell me how I did. thanks friends**

 **3 Suicidial**


	2. Chapter 2

The RFA didn't know this but you could be considered quite a talented cook. At home, before you moved out, your mom used to work nights so you had to make dinner. You'd come home in the afternoon following school and plan out what you'd be having for dinner, knowing it needed to be ready by when dad and mom returned. They weren't five star culinary wonders obviously, you couldn't afford those ingredients, but nonetheless your meals were always tasty.

Maybe that's why once you had moved in with Saeyoung and Saeran it seemed like almost a badge of honor. You wanted to prove your cooking prowess to them, make both of them proud. They both worried you endlessly, never sleeping at proper times or eating; a fact you often scolded them for. Especially Saeyoung. He always just brushed your persuading off, making some passe joke about how all he truly needed was Honey Buddha chips; at least Saeran _pretended_ he was listening.

Breaking an egg into a mixing bowl you shot a glance over your shoulder, looking towards Saeyoung's computer room. It was fifteen past six and he had just woken up from a nap a while back and was now back at it again. There was a lot of work to be done, Saeyoung and Saeran planned to open the toy store in two months time and much needed to be done.

Ignoring the need to go nag him, you placed the casserole inside the oven, adjusting the timer. You were determined, the three of you were going to have a normal family dinner- well _semi-normal._ Grabbing three mismatched plates from the cupboard you set the small dinner table, which was littered with blueprints and computer books. Collecting all the paper up you stowed them to the side, placing three cups alongside the plates. You couldn't help but smile, _how domestic._ A word which never seemed to apply to their relationship.

Twenty minutes passed and the casserole had begun to spread it's intoxicating smell about the room. You hoped Saeran could smell it from his bedroom, maybe it would coax him out for a little while. Saeyoung could definitely smell it, his computer room door was open, the scent surely wafting inside. Yet he was yet to make an appearance, you blush as you shamelessly imagined him coming into the kitchen, praising your name, and showering you in appreciative kisses. He didn't however and as the timer came close to it's countdown you were somewhat irritated, he could at least yell 'something smells good, honey~' or some form of compliment.

Taking a chilled pop from the fridge rubbing it across your chest and along the back of your neck. It was so warm in here, Saeyoung's bunker didn't have any windows to crack and the summer heat clung to you, especially with the added heat of the rarely used oven.

The timer on the stove dinged, signalling the casserole was finished. Receiving the dish you scooped generous helpings into Saeyoung's and Saeran's bowls, knowing neither of them had eaten today; then placed them on the table.

"Saeyoung~! Saeran~! Dinner's ready!" You yelled, shedding your cardigan as you held the pop can to you collarbone, cheeks still flushed.

A shuffle from the adjoining room, and the sound of movement from down the hall. Saeyoung came into sight first, rubbing his bleary eyes as they adjusted to the bright lights.

"Honey, you made dinner for-" He trailed off, hands falling to his side numbly as he gawked at you.

"W-what?" You stammered, embarrassed.

Shakily Saeyoung pointed a single finger at you, his own cheeks burning beneath the frames of his glasses. "Y-y-your shirt? W-what happened to it?"

Confused you looked down, your body hugging tank top had been soaked from the presperiating pop can, your cherry red bra popping out vividly against the white. Sweat trickled down the valley of your breasts, and disappeared under the low neckline. Heart fluttering, you scrambled for your cardigan, mortified at your state of undress.

"Sorry! When I was cooking I got hot and took it off, I'll just put it back-"

Suddenly Saeyoung was behind you, hands wrapping your hair around his fist and leaning forward, lips brushing against your scalp. He remained like that for several long moments, your face unbearably hot, unsure what to do. Then he pulled away, slowly detangling his hands from your hair.

" _Fuck_ ," he mumbled, averting his eyes from yours, "that was dangerous, I almost wasn't able to hold back there for a moment."

Eyes bulging you stared at him, "what?!"

Saeyoung shook his head, plastering a coy smile on his lips as he sat down beside you, grabbing his fork. "Nothing~! Dinner looks amazing."

Saeran rounded the corner, he looked sleepy, like your call had woken him.

"H-hello Saeran, I made dinner! Hope you like kimchi casserole." You greeted, your voice crackling and squeaky.

Saeran blinked tiredly, sitting across from Saeyoung. For a few seconds he stared at the steaming dish, unsure how he should begin. Tentatively he picked up his fork and took an experimental bite. His eyes squeezed shut and he opened his mouth gasping, your heart fell.

"It's hot," Saeran muttered around his mouthful, chewing slowly.

You exhaled, worry vanishing. "Haha, I just took it out from the oven moments ago."

The three of you ate peacefully, both Saeyoung and Saeran too busy shovelling massive bites into their mouths to share conversation. You were extremely pleased, they seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the food. Saeran finished first, pushing out of his chair and clearing his dish.

"Thanks for the meal," he said softly, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice.

You beamed up at him, pride coloring your cheeks. "You're welcome, I'm so happy you enjoyed it."

Saeyoung grabbed your left hand, tugging on it. Turning in your seat you glanced over at him, a deep pout on his lips. "What is it?"

Amber eyes flashed, an emotion you couldn't catch. Placing his fork aside Saeyoung leaned in, mouth pressed against the shell of your ear.

"It's not fair that you showed such a cute smile to someone who's not your boyfriend." He breathed, fingers twinging with your beneath the table.

"O-oh . . ." you couldn't think with his mouth so close.

You could feel his lips curve into a smile beside your ear, his mouth dragging along your jaw until they met your lips. Then he kissed you, the spice of the kimchi still on his lips as he bore into you. Hands ran up your ribcage, eliciting a muffled giggle, he deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against yours. You couldn't even think, limp as nimble fingers played with the underside of your bra.

" _Gross_." Saeran grunted in displeasure, "I'm leaving before you attack her right in the kitchen." You heard him leave, stomping down the hall.

Saeyoung broke the kiss, his forehead leaning against yours, cheeks healthily flushed. His horn rimmed glasses sat crookedly on his nose, your breaths mingling as you both recovered from the passionate kiss.

"You taste good~" he hummed, bold fingers still running along your ribs.

You can't help but giggle, "I'm pretty sure that's the kimchi."

Saeyoung shook his head, fiery locks falling over his brow. "The kimchi was _good_ but you're _delicious._ "

Your heart swells and you can taste it in your mouth, "you're shameless."

"Yup."

 **so hoped you guys liked it. lemme know in the reviews if you did thanks**

 **3 Suicidal**


	3. Chapter 3

**hello. here's chapter 3. i know ive been really pumping em out. i have a lot of feelings for 707 ok. .**

 **hmu analsenei on tumblr to groan together**

Saeran had always wanted to go to school. He didn't tell anyone this but you could see it when he and Saeyoung picked you up from university. Although he rarely spoke out of turn you could tell from the faraway glimmer in his eyes something about campus life fascinated him endlessly. You had offered them a tour on one of these visits, you were in your last year there and you knew the campus well. From building to building you went, even Saeyoung seemed like he was having fun; his university life had been shortened due to his genius, so he lacked fond memories of the time. They both thoroughly enjoyed the chemistry lab, where beakers bubbled and where there were various gadgets to touch and explore. The memory was a happy one yet it saddened you slightly; these two had never _once_ lived a normal life, surrounded by peers and laughter, it was foreign to both of them. It was then that an idea struck you, late one night at Saeyoung's bunker- you'd bring them to university and teach a class!

If they couldn't enroll formally, for numerous reasons, then you could at least try to emulate a university experience for them. It would be a gift of sorts, the least you could do to try to alleviate the stress between the two of them and from their past lives. It required a bit of planning of course, you had to ask for permission to use a classroom, purchase some supplies for them but it would be entirely worth it. Once the dates had been set it was becoming increasingly hard not to tell them of your plan.

One night at dinner you laid the groundwork. The three of you were sitting in the living room, Saeyoung on his laptop and Saeran was lazily flicking through TV channels, not really watching any of them.

Clearing your throat you spoke, "would you guys be able to come get me from the university tomorrow? Around 11am?"

Saeyoung pulled his headphones off, shooting you a quizzical look. "11? That's pretty early, how come?"

Your hands grew moist, you weren't a good liar. "I have an _appointment_ and I'd really appreciate if you guys could come?"

Saeran dragged his gaze over to you, "both of us?"

You smiled sheepishly, "y-yes please! I'd really owe you one. Please meet me in this classroom."

You handed Saeyoung a piece of paper with a class number scribbled on it. "Remember to be there on time, please!"

Saeran and Saeyoung shared a look but shrugged nonchalantly.

"Anything for my lovely 606~" Saeyoung sung under his breath, turning his attention back to his laptop.

You almost audibly sighed in relief as they carried on, although you couldn't help but be excited. They both seemed completely oblivious to your ulterior motives which was exactly what you were hoping for, tomorrow couldn't come fast enough!

You woke up early, untangling yourself from Saeyoung as you dressed for the day. Sleepy mumbles came from the bed as you readied yourself in the bathroom, you stop smiling. Managing to catch the 9am shuttle you hurried to the campus, a change of clothes stuffed into your backpack. It was unseemly for a senior to skip class but you had special permission from the Prof, you'd promised, despite your absence, you'd email them the assignment by the evening. Across the campus you went, heading for the Arts and Recreation building where you had borrowed a classroom. Once you'd arrived you began preparing everything, placing pens and notebooks on the front two desks, putting a heart beside Saeyoung's name and a smiley face beside Saeran's. You'd be doing a presentation on Art History, your major, in fact this 'pretend' class was going to be immensely helpful in preparation for your year end thesis.

As you brought up the slideshow you were going to be presenting you glanced at the time, 10:45- they should be here soon. The clothes you had packed this morning were pulled out, a cream coloured blouse and a pencil skirt; semi fancy clothing that you _never_ wore. If you were going to be a Professor you had to look the part, even if it meant sacrificing your usual comfy leggings and sweater. Pulling you hair into a loose bun, placing a pair of thrift store glasses on your nose, and zipping up the skirt you were ready; all that remained was to wait.

As it got closer and closer to 11am the nerves began to build, would they think this was stupid and laugh at you? What happens if you make a complete fool of yourself? Just as you were shaking those thoughts from your head there was a knock upon the door followed by muffled mumbling.

"Is it this one?" Saeran asked.

"How am I supposed to know? I don't know this place." Saeyoung quipped back.

"You're the one she gave the paper to, dumbass."

Leaping from your chair you straightened yourself and stood tall, _act like a university Professor_. You pulled open the door, smiling softly.

"Good afternoon students, please come in and take your seats."

A collective stare followed by the dropping of two jaws. Saeyoung looked like he had just rolled out of bed, he was _never_ up this early whereas Saeran donned all black and a leather choker, a rather outlandish outfit.

You didn't allow your ' _Professor_ ' smile didn't falter, "please come in, wouldn't want to start class late now would we?"

Numbly Saeyoung and Saeran followed you, taking the seats you motioned them to. You were barely able to stifle a giggle as Saeyoung blushed furiously at the inscription you left on the first page of his notebook- ' _even naughty boys need a little teaching once in awhile :3c'_. Sarean also looked floored beyond belief, flipping through the pages of his notebook and stroking the numerous pens you'd purchased.

"So students without further ado let's begin the lesson, please remember to jot down anything you think is important in your notebooks, I'll be checking them after class~" You instructed sweetly, taking your place in front of the projector.

"Firsty we'll be starting in the Renaissance period, a time famous for it's beautiful and world renowned art pieces . . ."

From there things went smoothly, you couldn't help but glow with confidence as both Saeyoung and Saeran gave you their undivided attention. Smugly you also noticed that Saeyoung couldn't stop staring at you, it wasn't normal for him to see you dressed up and his gaze _lingered._ You knew you made the correct choice in clothing. Your lecture lasted fifty minutes, your apprehension from before gone completely. At the end you exited out from the powerpoint, folding your hands and adjusted your fake glasses.

"That was the end of my presentation. Now, any questions?" You asked, shocked that you were still able to maintain this act.

Saeran raised his hand, his face pinched in thought. It was adorable to see him like this, he usually approached everything apathetically but he seemed genuinely interested now.

"You seem to know a lot about art, Professor." He faltered on the last word but the fact that he said it made you _incredibly_ pleased. "But do you do art yourself, I've never seen any."

His question surprised you, not expecting him to take personal interest in your hobbies. It was true you used to paint quite frequently before joining the RFA, back in your early college days. You didn't think you were particularly skillful, you'd rather talk of other's pieces rather than your own, though you did have some pieces in storage.

"It's a secret~" you said with a wink. Embarrassed at the thought of them seeing your pieces.

Saeran seemed momentarily disappointed but jotted something in his notebook. Saeyoung who until now had been abnormally quiet cleared his throat.

"I have a question, teacher." He drawled, waving a hand in the air.

Smiling you turned to him, "what is it, my _handsome_ student?"

A touch of heat crawled up Saeyoung's neck but he dismissed it, swallowing thickly, continuing his train of thought. "When did this university start giving teacher licences to such _sexy_ women. If I knew I would have surely enrolled by now."

It was your turn to blush and Saeran cursed something under his breath. You wiped your clammy hands against your hips, ignoring your racing heart.

"Such an inappropriate question, do you need to be sent to detention?"

A devilish grin, "only if you're coming too, _teach_."

Saeran stood from his desk, snapping his notebook shut. "I'm gonna go grab a coffee, lemme know when you two quit being gross." Then he left, leaving them alone in the classroom.

You almost tried to stop Saeran from leaving, this wasn't your intent when you set this all up! It wasn't your fault Saeyoung was being such a flirt, this was meant to be for both of them. Yet something stopped you, watching his retreating back. Saeyoung was still looking at you, feet placed on the desktop, a smirk playing on his lips.

"So teach, it's just you and me. Gonna check my notebook?" He hummed slyly, his voice low and gravelly.

Exhaling softly you went over to Saeyoung's desk, hanging your glasses from your shirt collar. Bending at the waist you opened his notebook and gasped. The entire first two pages were covered in lewd drawings, words and even half poems. Heat snaked through your bloodstream and you're head became increasingly dizzy.

"Whatcha think, teach? Do I pass?"

You stared up at him, his lips tugged into a crooked grin, eyes dancing behind his glasses. Impulsively you grabbed the front of his sweater and yanked him into a furious kiss, your lips searing against his. The kiss only lasted a couple seconds before you released him, panting slightly.

He gawked at you, mouth agape. You remained like this, gazes locked, both panting, for a few seconds before Saeyoung broke into giggles. Clutching at his sides he squirmed in his chair, breathless laughs falling from his mouth.

Befuddled you withdrew, unsure what to make of his frantic chuckles. "Saeyoung?" You questioned.

He continued howling with laughter for a few seconds more before he managed to calm himself, wiping tears from his eyes. " _Oh,_ you're too much. How did I get so lucky?"

You tilted your head in confusion, "what are you talking about?"

His eyes burned into you, a sacred sincerity melting with his eyes as tenderness shaped his expression. Reaching out he cupped your cheek, running his finger along your cheekbone, then they drifted down to your lips, tracing them mindlessly. Stunned you didn't know what to do but allow him to do as he pleased.

" _Thank you_ , this was- this was . . . well it was one of the best days of my life." He said truthfully, a pained knot forming between his brow. "Everyday with you is another best day."

Your heart lurched, tears unexpectedly coming to your eyes. "I feel the same, Saeyoung. I feel the _same_." These words were whispered, a half sob as blinked back wetness.

"Don't cry honey. Saeran will freak out if he comes back to this." Saeyoung breathed, his hand still on your face.

Bubbly giggles escaped your lips, "you're right, he'll beat you senseless."

Saeyoung paled, lips thinning. "Please don't tell him."

"I promise."

On the car ride home, sitting in the passenger seat as Saeyoung drove, you noticed that Saeran had kept all the notebooks and pens and was now sifting through his notes. He looked completely concentrated, lips mouthing dates and painters names as his eyes danced across the page. This was what you wanted, to show Saeran that life still had much to offer. You pondered if you could ask Jumin to get Saeran a proper government ID so he could enroll, it would be something to think about. Blissfully happy you reached across the console and rested it on Saeyoung's knee, rubbing small circles into his sweatpants. He cast a glance over at you, "thank you," he mouthed silently and you just nodded. There was no need to thank you, you did this for them because you loved them. More than anything.

 **so how is it? i really liked it while i was writing it now idk so plzz lemme know**

 **thanks**

 **3 suicidal**


	4. Chapter 4

You can hardly believe what just happened. Saeran, Seven's brother had just been here, you'd been in his arms. It all happened so quickly, Seven and him exchanging hurried words and then it was over, Searan disappearing and just Seven remained. Dragging a hand across his face Seven neutralized his previous afflicted expression. You didn't know what to do, glass scattered around your socked feet. Pulling your sweater over your head you gingerly begin picking up the glass pieces, wrapping them in the fluffy pullover.

Seven watches you numbly for a few seconds, peeking at you from between his fingers. In nothing but a tank top you manage to collect all the pieces without receiving any cuts. Taking the shards over to the garbage can you dispose of them, shaking your sweater before tossing it into a dirty laundry pile.

"Are you alright, Seven? That was-" unable to find the proper words you trail off.

Seven said nothing hurrying past you and placing his equipment at the end of the bed. You watch him, unsure what to do as he prepares his laptop and quickly domineers a powerbar, plugging in his electronics. You give him some time, he was surely stressed from this entire situation and just needed a moment to set up, then he'd notice you. Or at least this is what you thought but as the minutes drag on your heart sinks, settling deep into your gut. He's settled on the floor, already typing away frantically, mountains of text reflected by his glasses; he doesn't acknowledge your presence, eyes zooming across walls of code.

"Seven-?" You say delicately.

He still doesn't look your way, perhaps with his headphones on he hadn't heard you. So you attempt again.

"Seven?" You say louder this time, coming over to stand behind him, trying to see what he's doing.

This grabs his attention, he snaps his gaze up to you, mouth settling into a grimace. Yanking the headphones from his head he looks exceptionally annoyed. "What is it? Can't you see I'm busy?"

Of course you can! It's obvious he is busy but _so_ busy he's unable to even speak to you, after all that had happened?

"I-I know you're busy, I was just wondering-" you break off, what _were_ you wondering? Wondering why he was acting so cold to you? Wondering where his usual charming goofy attitude had gone? Wondering why his heart didn't seem to beat at the sight of you like yours did with him?

"I was just wondering if you needed some help. I'm not bad with computers myself, I used to do research for my office all the time." You finish lamely, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Seven is no longer looking at you, his attention back on the screen. "No I don't need any help, go do something else. You're bothering me."

 _Bothering me_ , the words echo in your mind. Did he truly mean that? You thought he- he _what?_ Cared for you although you'd never met him before and you'd known him for mere days. How foolish, you do as you were asked. Settling on the bed, pulling your phone out. You're momentarily tempted to tell the others, curious if they knew how cold Seven truly could be. You don't, it would be petty, Seven was here to _protect_ you. It would be wrong to bad mouth him after all he'd sacrificed for you. Instead you answer a few emails, scroll Tripter and then pull a book from the bedside table. As you attempt to read you can't help but steal glances at Seven, he's so focused he pays no heed. He's exhausted, it's evident on every inch of him yet can't help but find him inexplicably _cute_. Younger than him than by two years perhaps you can't think so but something about him makes your heart melt; maybe it's that mop of red hair, the overlarge sweaters paired with track pants, you can't help but look at him.

You wonder if he finds you cute at all, he said so in the chatroom, he had all your personal information so he knew what you looked like. Yet, with what you had seen now you couldn't be sure, was anything he said in the chatroom true? It was hard to concentrate on anything with Seven's frantic typing, the loud clacking drawing your attention time and time again.

Every time you glance at him his brows tighten a fraction, his scowl deepening. You tell yourself to stop, try to store your thoughts away, yet as time passes it becomes increasingly difficult. You decide to make you two supper, even though the sun has long gone down. Rice, vegetables and chopped beef, a simple but delicious smelling stir fry with a pinch of curry and garlic; it smells mouthwateringly good. Serving two generous bowls you bring one to Seven, placing it beside him. For a few moments he remains in stasis, typing away madly, but then his gaze shifts to the steaming bowl.

He pulls off his headphones, "you didn't need to do this," he grumbles, still staring at the food. "I told you to stop paying attention to me."

Settling down on the floor across from him you scoop a bite into your mouth, humming happily as you swallow. You disregard his chilled comment, it would be _impossible_ to ignore him, the boy you _liked_ was in your bedroom.

Seven chews on the inside of his cheek, having a mental debate with himself. Reluctantly he reaches for the bowl, pulling it into his lap.

You smile, handing him your extra pair of chopsticks, taking another bite. "Stir fry is always better hot. I hope you like it."

A subtle flush of red, Seven pulled his hood on and drew the drawstrings tight. Slowly he takes a tentative bite, blowing on it before putting it in his mouth. Immediately his eyes widen, chewing on the tender beef quickly.

"Is it good?" You ask, proud that you managed to keep your coyness to a minimum.

Realizing his faulty Seven forces a scowl back on his face, "it's _okay_ , I've had better."

You beam regardless of his comment, you know it's all bluff anyways. "I'm glad you like it. It's always nice when you can eat with someone you care about, makes the food taste better."

Chopsticks clatter across the floor, bowl tipping over in Seven's lap, hot rice spilling across his thigh. His face is stricken, an almost comical amount of shock etched into every feature, mouth agape.

Concerned by his reaction you reach out, your own food placed aside. "Seven are you alright? Here, lemme help you."

Unknowingly you scoop the fallen rice grains from his track pants back into the bowl, unaware of how close you, fingers brushing away fallen crumbs from his lap.

"W-w-what the hell are you doing?!" He squeaks, hands balling into white knuckled fists at his side.

Struck by your faulty you blush fiercely, scrambling backwards, clutching your hand to your chest. "I'm sorry-! I didn't mean to!" You gush fervently, heart doing backflips within your chest.

Seven is having a hard time regaining his self control as well, his eyes unable to meet yours as he struggled to hide his flush within his hoodie. Gingerly he once again takes up his bowl and takes another small bite, face averted.

Grateful for the return to normalcy you continue eating as well, much slower than Seven because he keeps _distracting_ you. It's a very petty thought but you're _so_ happy he's enjoying something you made, a flush of uncontrollable pride shooting through you. The two of you finish eating in silence, Seven pushing his dish away first, every grain of rice consumed.

"Thanks for the food," he grumbles, hands twitching against his thigh.

You try to suppress the goofy grin that tugs at your cheeks but you're fighting a losing battle, hiding the infectious smile behind your sleeve.

"You're welcome," you hesitate, " _Luciel_."

Seven bodily jerks backwards, his hood falling off his crown of scarlet. "That's the third time this evening-" he breathes.

"Third time this evening that what?" You asked, not understanding.

Heaving a laboured sigh, Seven places his head in his hands, shoulders bouncing in silent laughter.

"Seven? What's the matter?"

"You're going to be the death of me, I-I can't do this." He chokes out, voice hoarse as he tugs at his mused bangs.

"Seven . . . you're scaring me."

"You're _too_ nice. Too _good_. How am I suppose to- how can I keep this up if you keep tempting me like this." He moans, a hiss of air passing between his teeth. "I don't know if I can keep this up."

"Keep _what_ up? I have no idea what you're talking about." You pout, upset that he's refusing to answer any of your questions.

Seven pushes his hair from his eyes, looking at you from between a cage of fingers. His shoulders are tense but there is something shimmering in his eyes that reads of promise, affection?

"Stop being cute! I'm gonna lose my _mind_. Go sit somewhere where I can't see, hear or smell you. I need to get some work done." Seven demands, retrieving his laptop.

You're still confused, not understanding his conflicting words. Clearing both of your dishes you decide to go take a shower, hoping some hot water could sort your thoughts out. Locking the bathroom door you strip, turning the water on, slipping into the shower. As soon as you begin to scrub shampoo into your hair you hear something. A muffled string of rhythmic thumps, as if someone was keeping time by banging their head against a wall. Shrugging you decide it's unimportant and continue showering. Outside, leaning against the bedroom wall Seven numbly bangs his head into the wall, forcing _unnecessary_ thoughts from his head. Glancing over to the bathroom door he continued, this time harder than previous. Very _unnecessary_ thoughts, _dangerous_ thoughts.

 **Thanks for reading, please drop a review or a favorite if you have the time! Much appreciated**

 **3 Suicidal**


	5. Chapter 5

**hey hey, here's a new chapter, hope you all like it, have a good one!**

All he wanted to do was be enough. Completely, entirely, fully and utterly all he desired was to be enough for Saeran, and for _you._ To Saeyoung Choi, you two were his most precious people. It struck him in the small moments, the quiet seconds between activities and always when he least expected it. The simple things like the smell of your hair when you got out of the shower, the way your nose crinkled in laughter, how you refused to write in pencil, forearms stained with ink. It never ended, every waking second, and many of his dreams, were intertwined with memories and fragments of you. He was _so_ happy, a joy that was so intoxicating he feared what would happen if it went away. Sometimes he had nightmares, he'd be trapped behind a pane of glass, bloody fists banging on glass as he screamed your name; all his shrieks falling on deaf ears. In these dark nighttime horrors you couldn't see him, eyes turned away, to another- a blurry person Saeyoung couldn't make out in the haze of sleep. Thankfully these dreams never lasted long, he'd wake panting and drenched in chilled sweat and you'd be at his side, pressing kisses to his throat, hands caressing down his stomach.

"Saeyoung," you'd murmur, sleep coating your words, "did you have a bad dream?"

A hand on his frantic heart he'd look down at you, honeyed eyes shining with concern, barely distinguishable in the waning light. Then his heart would clench painfully, _so_ thankful you were still there, still his. Calming his heartbeat he'd allow you to pull him into your chest, his ear pressed against your collarbone, soothed as your heartbeat reaffirmed his existence. For a long time you'd stay like this, praising every kiss and each touch; everyone easing his churning thoughts. Eventually dawn would rear it's ugly head, the alarm beside the bed ringing loudly.

Simultaneously you'd both groan, laughing as your eyes met. Tenderly he'd kiss you, hoping his lips do the talking his tongue was unable to do.

Eyes would sparkle, in that way he adored so much. "Should I delay the meeting with Jumin and Jaehee this morning? I have a craving for blueberry pancakes."

Eyes widening, he'd nod, unspeakably pleased with your decision, arms tightening around you. "Tell Jumin he can't have you, you're mine this morning."

"I don't know what you mean by that first part, but yes, I'm yours, Saeyoung. I don't know how many times I have to say it." You'd say with a laugh, dragging the scarlet strands of his hair off his forehead and planting a sloppy kiss.

Tremors of contentment, leaning upwards to meet your lips, daring tongue gliding along your lower lip. Insides quivering, heart fluttering he kissed you, though he loved every moment you spent together he never got over how much he loved to simply kiss you. It reminded him of the first time, all those months ago, how much he _wanted_ you, how long he told himself he wasn't allowed you. At the time, when everything was unsure and he denied himself any personal pleasures, you had fought so hard. Never once did you shy away from him, unrelenting you'd constantly approach him, your charm so infectious- it was so _impossibly_ difficult to deny how he felt about you.

Gently you'd break the kiss, scattering his nose in chaste smooches. "I'd better call Jumin, love. He's so upset unless you give him at least two hours heads up."

Reluctantly he'd release you, watching as you dialed Jumin's number, amber eyes trained on your face. It was stupid, a petty sense of jealousy worming it's way into his heart, knotting uncomfortably in his chest. He'd never admit it but this feeling wasn't uncommon, he knew in many ways some of the RFA members would be better for you, could care for you better, give you a more normal life, safety he couldn't. It frightened him, the thought of you choosing another, a prophetic occurrence like his dream.

Amber eyes remained on you, gauging your face as you continued chatting with Jumin. You politely asked about Elizabeth the 3rd, you were so entirely kind, always asking others about their interests and passions, listening to them in earnest even if you didn't understand. It was one of your many wonderful qualities, but that didn't mean it prevented Saeyoung from being envious.

Crawling across the bed to where you sat he dragged his teeth down your shoulder and neck, eliciting a pitched squeal.

Jumping in surprise, eyes widening comically, "S-Saeyoung?! Sorry, Jumin I have to go, b-bye." Snapping your phone shut, training your shocked expression on your lover. "What was that for?"

A sly smile, "you were taking too long, I'm getting hungry."

Rolling your eyes you stand, tugging your t-shirt down your thighs. "Well _forgive_ me, I'm going to make breakfast right now."

His hand reached out and grabbed the hem of your shirt, tugging you back to the bed. Chuckling he yanks you into his lap, chin resting on your shoulder.

"Not what I meant~" he breathes into the shell of your ear, causing an eruption of guilty shivers.

Cheeks flash heating you squirm against him, "p-pervert."

Another deep laugh, rumbling within his chest, the vibrations felt against your back. Lazily he kisses you, greedy hands finding your breasts and kneading with definite and strong motions. Within moments you're mush in his arm, eyes falling closed. It's then that he chances a glance at you, flushed cheeks, dark lashes against pale cheeks, freckles dusting your nose. So painful is this love, this _reverence_ , a tantalizing poison. Quickly he memorizes this image, daring not to forget such a cute face.

Ultimately he lets you go, Saeran would be by soon, thinking them still asleep if they didn't get moving now. Hesitantly you both detangle, each of your looking entirely bed mused, lips swollen from hungry kisses.

Taking his hand you pull him from bed, "come Saeyoung, you can make the bacon while I make the pancakes."

"Ohoho Saeran will be happy, he loves bacon, not to mention your special pancakes." He doesn't fight you, instead he looms right behind you, naughty fingers resting on your hips.

"Then we best get a move on~!"

 **thanks for the read, lemme know how I did this time, kisses**

 **3 Suicidal**


	6. Chapter 6

**hello, here is a thing a lil thing a sappy thing~**

It was very odd, to be sleeping in a bed without him beside you, to wake up without his arms around you. In many ways it was unsettling, you'd become so dependant on his existence, more than you'd ever anyone else; was this a weakness or a strength you wondered, to need someone so fully. Four weeks of this, craving the affection you'd become so accustomed to, you spoke, of course you did; you'd have gone insane if you couldn't hear his voice. You could never talk for long though, another meeting to attend, another dignitary to meet. Though they kept you extremely busy, barely a moment to breathe within your hectic schedule, there was still moments of quiet; where your thoughts and longings refused to be silenced. During these moments, your hands pressed to your eyes, tears leaking down your cheeks you wondered if he felt the same, all those thousands of miles away. Even though this feeling threatened to consume you whole, tear you apart at the seams you vainly hoped he missed you too.

You were leaving a meeting, trying to deny the exhaustion that pulled at your eyelids, when you felt a vibration against your side. Heart leaping into your throat, you quickly but your brief case away and scrambled for your cell. So hurriedly did you reach for it that you didn't even glance at the caller ID, answering it immediately.

"H-Hello," you say breathlessly.

"Hey, it's me, Zen."

Your heart drops, hammering lungs quieting. Oh, it wasn't him after all, you should've checked the caller ID.

Forcing cheer into your voice you respond, "hey Zen, how are you? What's going on?"

There's a pregnant pause, you can hear Zen rustling with something in the background, then muffled words. You strain to hear what's happening but you're unable to make out the confusion.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologizes distractedly, "I didn't want to call you out of the blue like this but . . ." he trails off, the noise in the background prominent again.

"What is it, Zen?" You press, your grip on the phone tightening.

A ragged sigh through the phone, he sounds impossibly tired, very unlike his usual self. "Something's happened, something _bad_."

Fear claws at your throat, palms dampening as you slump against the nearby wall, plopping down to the floor.

"What happened, Zen?"

"Seven he-" more static noise, more voices are heard. "He's not doing very well."

Terror, eyes filling with tears as a million worries flood your mind, "w-what do you mean? What's going on?!"

Zen grunts tiredly, "well he's not taking you being away very well; him and Saeran both. Things have . . . deteriorated."

You clench the phone so tightly your knuckles lock painfully, "Zen, what the hell is happening? _Tell_ me." You practically scream, voice quivering.

"We don't know what's going on exactly, we just got over here-took us forever to get through the security without Seven's help. All we know is Saeran is missing and Seven . . ."

"What's happened to Saeyoung?!"

You hear Zen swallow, his own nervousness magnifying your own. "It's not good, none us us want to ask you this but can you _please_ come back."

Suddenly you hear a wretched cough, startling you so badly you nearly drop the phone. This hollow gasping for air is followed by several rushed voices, words you still can't make out. Zen's breathing hitched, the grinding of his teeth audible through the call.

"Zen!? What was that?"

Zen groans, "please, please, please come back. H-he doesn't want us to say this- but he _needs_ you, Saeran does too. Jumin is looking for him- he has the body guards out-"

"I'm coming!" You declare, forcing feeling back into your legs as you stand, forgetting the brief case as you run to the elevator. "Can I speak to Saeyoung? Is he there?"

Another pause, Zen is thinking how to answer. "He's here, but I don't know if. . ."

"Put him on speaker phone." You demand, jamming the elevator button, scaring another rider.

It's obvious Zen doesn't want to do this but he relents, sighing as he presses the button. "Kay, you're on."

Tears swim in your eyes as you hop off the elevator, rushing to the street to catch a cab, wallet in hand.

"Saeyoung, can you hear me? You don't have to answer, I'm sorry, so sorry, please be alright, I'm coming now." You falter as the tears fall down your cheeks freely now, thankfully a taxi comes quickly and you slide inside, muttering the airport despite your crying.

There's silence on the other end of the line, a quiet which brings more tears from you. "Please Saeyoung, wait just a little longer, I'll be home soon. We'll get Saeran and if you can find it within you to forgive me . . . _well_ then I'll swear to never leave again." Choking back more broken sobs you whimper into the phone, "just please wait for me."

Another tense null, your ears yearning for some kind of response, some kind of acknowledgement. Abruptly another voice answers you, a familiar one-Jaehee.

"Hello, as Zen mentioned Luciel is quiet unresponsive right now, I think he's listening though and he appears . . . more at ease."

Chest tightening a soft wail rises from within you, "thank you Jaehee. Saeyoung I'm coming." Then you hang up, holding the phone to your chest, heart ripping apart your ribcage.

"Are you doing alright, miss?" The cabbie asks you in English.

You blink twice, forgetting where you were for a second, he likely had no clue what you had just been saying. Forcing a polite smile you duck your head in embarrassment, "yes, thank you." You respond in English.

The man nods, glancing at you in the rearview mirror, obviously suspicious as to why you had no belongings. They were all back at the hotel, nothing of significance left behind, though you had liked a particular red dress, but there was no time for that. Saeyoung needed you and nothing would hold you back. There was the whole situation with the dignitaries, who would expect to see you in another meeting tomorrow, furtively you hoped Jumin would cover for you. These meetings were important but compared to Saeyoung and Saeran's well being- your most precious people- they were entirely meaningless.

You couldn't believe your luck, there was a plane to Seoul within a few hours; you hated to do it but you bought a costly last minute ticket, praying the RFA could forgive you for the use of emergency funds. As the hours ticked by you began to worry yourself sick, unable to eat or even sit still. Frantically you sent Saeyoung dozens of texts, trying vainly to reassure him, even succumbing to calling him a few times. He never picked up and distress set it-what if he was unable to forgive this? For abandoning him to achieve your own goals, for leaving him and Saeran alone. The thought brought bile to your throat and as you began to board the plane you nearly fainted, a flight attendant grabbing you. Once seated all you could think about was being home, kissing him, praying he'd kiss you back, cuddling the four weeks of crippling loneliness away. Although they served food on the plane you couldn't stomach anything more than a nibble of a muffin and a sip of juice, you refused to relax until you were home.

By the end of the ten hours you knew you looked horrible, hair disheveled, bags under your eyes and complexion sickly. None of that mattered though, as quickly as you could you got off the plane, running to catch a cab before you saw a small herd of men in suits, holding a sign with your name.

Approaching them you assumed they were Jumin's retainer, silently you blessed him for his brilliance.

"Mrs. Choi?" They asked, obviously a little taken aback by your appearance.

"That's me, now let's go, I'm in a hurry." You said with more edge than you'd wanted, fingers fidgeting.

Nodding they escorted you to a private vehicle, pouring inside, Jumin's security was so over the top. As the city zoomed by you all you could think about was Saeyoung, was he doing alright? You told the driver numerous times to go faster. When you finally pulled up to the front of Saeyoung's bunker, your home, you stood motionless for a few moments.

Cautiously you approached the door, punching in your special security code, the door opening. Stepping inside you heard a familiar voice, not the one you usually heard, but familiar nonetheless.

"Oi, Vanderwood here."

You smiled, you were very familiar with Agent Vanderwood by now and they didn't need to introduce themselves.

"How's Saeyoung, Vanderwood?" You asked as he fiddled with Saeyoung's extensive security system.

"Hard to say, you'll see soon." They said as the final door whooshed open.

Dread, that didn't sound good. Tossing your coat aside you ran, whipping around the hall corner as you sprinted into the living room, out of breath. Everyone was here, Jaehee, Yoosung, Jumin, Zen, Vanderwood all of them turning around at your entrance.

Before any of them could say anything you spoke, "where is he?"

They shared a collective look, one you didn't understand, parting as they dissolved from their circle around the couch. Saeyoung lay on the couch, swathed in blankets, cheeks bright with flush, mouth parted as he breathed laboriously. Running past the others you fell to your knees beside him, desperation clawing at you. Pressing the heel of your wrist to his forehead your suspicions were confirmed, he was burning up.

"Oh, Saeyoung," you wept, head falling onto his chest, "I'm sorry, so sorry."

A hand rested on your shoulder, "don't blame yourself, this was an act of negligence on all our parts; none of knew how much he was suffering."

Blinking back more tears you looked up at Jumin gratefully, though your tongue couldn't find the words to thank him.

Clearing her throat Jaehee stepped forward too, "the doctor suspects he's fallen ill due to severe lack of sleep and malnutrition. He also curiously enough, seems to be 'love sick' as the doctor said, though I'd take that with a grain of salt."

Gazing back at Saeyoung, you kissed his nose softly. "No, I think I understand. I missed him too."

"Unfortunately we've had no luck locating Saeran, though it seems he does have his phone on him for we were all able to leave voicemails. Hopefully if he catches wind of your arrival he'll return." Jumin explained, brows pinched rather severely.

"Thank you everyone," you whisper as you push Saeyoung's drenched bangs from his forehead. "Thank you all so much."

"We're friends, we were worried about him too." Yoosung says softly.

The other four hum in agreement, even Vanderwood also looks decidedly unsettled.

"We'll leave you in his care, we all must return, it has been a trying few hours." Jumin explains, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Please don't forget to call if we can help in anyway."

Again they all nod in agreement, saying their own goodbyes before leaving, with only Vanderwood remaining.

"I'm gonna see what I can do to track down the brat,"they explain, "lemme know if you need me." Then they vanish down the hall, heading to one of the numerous computer rooms.

You are then alone, stroking Saeyoung's face, kissing his lips and worshipping his existence. Worried you'd smother him you begrudgingly pull apart, deciding you'll clean the disaster that is your house. Despite your own exhaustion you clean, changing both his and Saeran's sheets, starting massive loads of laundry and beginning to boil some soup. After all this, Saeyoung's condition still unchanged, you feel the pull of sleep but deny it. This was all your fault, and you refused to rest until you were positive Saeyoung was better. To keep yourself awake you sat beside him, back against the couch, singing simple songs; lullabies, musical numbers, popular songs, anything you could remember the lyrics to. Time became meaningless and your throat ached, you put a chilled cloth on his forehead, attempted to get him to eat some soup without success. After hours and hours you were becoming so dizzy it became hard to walk, shaking the haze from your mind you decided to shower, hoping cold water would revive you. Beneath the chilled stream your vision slipped between focused and blurry, clutching to the wall for support. Inside you knew this was stupid, to push you body to such a limit, but for him you'd do it. Turning off the tap you exited the bathroom, towel wrapped around you, hair dripping down your back. Shuffling across the room to your bedroom you stopped dead in your tracks, glossy amber eyes were open and gazing at you.

"Mae? This must be a dream . . . how cruel." He whispered through chapped lips, voice hoarse.

Stunned you stood unmoving before bounding over the couch and tackling yourself against him, eyes streaming with tears. Frantically you kissed him, his eyes, nose, neck, cheeks, hands, anywhere that was accessible through the blankets, laughing hysterically paired with your tears.

Clinging to his chest you sobbed, "Saeyoung! Saeyoung, I'm sorry I was gone so long, I'm sorry I left please don't hate me, please don't hate me-"

Weakly Saeyoung tried to laugh, stroking your wet hair. "Hate you? How could I hate you?"

Nose pressed to his throat you shook with broken sobs, "because I was gone. Because of what happened-"

"This happened because I'm a dumbass-without you . . . time is so meaningless." He said, lips pressed to your head. "So meaningless."

Trembling you looked up at him, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. You pressed your lips to his, chapped though they were you moaned into him- so happy he was alive.

"I'll never leave your side again, I can't- as you said, life is meaningless without you."

Golden eyes widened, and then they shimmered delightfully, his lips on you once again. Forever you remained, so at peace in his embrace, finally home.

A loud crash behind you causes you to jump from his grasp, head whipping around. Saeran is standing in the doorway, face pale and hands balled at his side.

"S-so you were here."

You nod, "I'm here Saeran, wanna join in the hug?"

For a second you think he's going to say no, as he usually does in these type of situations but he doesn't. Slowly and unsurely he comes forward, kneeling beside Saeyoung alongside you. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder and gently tugging Saeyoung into a sitting postion you all embrace, peppering them both with kisses, though Saeyoung's are more prolonged.

"J-just so you know you're kinda naked," Saeran mumbles, refusing to look at you.

"All the better for me to see you with~" Saeyoung chuckles softly, finger slipping along the top of the towel.

"Just because you're sick doesn't mean you can be a pervert! Think of Saeran." You complain hotly, though you're not truly mad.

"Or think of me," Vanderwood grumbles, their face peering down at you three from over the couch.

"V-vanderwood?! Wanna join?"

"Absolutely not."

 **ARGH, did you like it, i started liking it but then . . . meh**

 **tell me though if you did like it**

 **3 suicidal**


	7. Chapter 7

**hey guys, new chapter~**

He wouldn't call himself possessive, that was an ugly word. No to himself he'd call it 'protective; he was just being 'protective of her'. That _usually_ made him feel better. Except when it didn't. On those occasions when the word 'protective' took on a new meaning Seven would grow uncomfortable. She was nice, so _agonizingly_ kind, to others, listening to problems offering words of advice at all hours of the day. Often times he wouldn't join, preferring to observe or busy himself with other tasks, but it was difficult. Luckily he was the only one who knew what she looked like, coveted screenshots he refused to share, though that never seemed to sway the others. So frequently would they flirt with her, even Jumin on occasion, so shamelessly- Seven would think furiously as he scanned the chat. Then he would stop himself, sigh as he placed the phone away- what claim did he have on her? None. It made him restless, unable to concentrate, he'd never felt this way- it made him feel weak. Even though he knew the most about her, understood your situation most clearly, he couldn't coax the knots of anxiety out of his system. As the days slipped by he found himself drawn to her, putting aside crucial work to just talk about silly things, no one ever indulged his oddities like she did. It gave him a sense of security, knowing she'd never judge him for his outlandish stories.

Sometimes, unknowingly, he'd cross a line; say something misleading that he shouldn't have. These flirts he played off in jest, using his sense of zany humor as a shield, he didn't want her getting . . . _attached_. Well, that was a lie. Fantasies of her against him, beside him, over him, _under_ him, plagued the few moments of rest he did obtain. These days he took a lot of cold showers, gaining sideways looks from Vanderwood who began to monitor him more closely.

"You like her don't you? That new girl." They asked, exhaling a long drag even though Seven hated smoking in the house.

Seven chewed on the inside of his cheek, knowing he should lie but unable to make the fib sound convincing. "Yeah, so what if I do?"

Vanderwood rolled their eyes, "You're a dumbass."

"I don't wanna hear that from _you_." Seven groaned, "nothing can happen so don't talk about it."

"Whatever you say, dumbass."

He hated feeling this way. Not only was he unable to work but every waking second was another reminder that as he waited someone could encroach on her heart. Would it be Zen? The guy was perfect in almost every way shape and form, he could _easily_ seal the deal. Perhaps even Yoosung? Young though he was the boy had charms and a good heart, who wouldn't like that?

It was these moments when Seven's resolve would crumble and he'd check to see if she was online; you weren't. Thankful her absence prevented him from doing something he'd later regret Seven was startled when his phone began vibrating in his hand.

 _She were calling him?!_ Why? Was something wrong? Immediately he looked over to the CTV and realized she wasn't in the hall- had something happened in the two minutes and forty seconds he wasn't watching?

Answering he yelled into the receiver, "H-hey? Are you alright? What's going on?"

A second of silence, Seven felt his heart constrict. ". . .I'm fine, what's wrong Seven?"

Exhaling in relief, "thank god, why did you call then?" Seven questions, annoyed he can't look at you in the security feed; he liked seeing your reactions while you talked.

She's hesitant to answer, he can tell because you're breathing hitches. Worriedly his brain slips back into mania, what if she was told to _say_ she's fine but she's _actually_ been kidnapped-?

"Seven, this may sound crazy . . ." her words are so soft, a whisper against his ear.

Crazy- he didn't like the sound of that. Fingers twitching against his thigh he grit his teeth, unreasonably annoyed that he was unable to see her right now.

"Where are you?" He asked before he could stop himself, unable to keep the entirety of his nervousness from his tone.

Another pause, "I'm at a park . . .I don't know what it's called, I needed to-"

"You _left_ the apartment? Why?! I'm tracing your IP number, gimme two-"

" _Seven_! Please listen to me!" Her voice is shrill, as if she's on the verge of tears.

Seven's fingers falter, frozen by her desperation. A chill oozes through his veins as he hears her crying freely, dumbfounded.

"You're so mean, Seven- I was trying to say I like you, idiot." She tried to say, sobs catching in her throat, short and breathy.

The phone slipped out of his hand, clattering to the floor. He could hear you, yelling into the phone in concern, yet he couldn't will his numb body to move- what was this emotion? It was as if a colossal weight he hadn't been aware he was holding had been lifted, a knot in his shoulder had been _finally_ rubbed out. So giddy was he, Seven began laughing almost manically, falling to his knees and collapsing on the floor.

"Seven?! Are you okay? What are you doing?" The tears have been chased from her words, replaced with concern.

Breathlessly, Seven manages to press the phone against his ear again, chest heaving. "Don't tease God Seven like that~ my devout heart can't take it."

Seven can almost hear her puff her cheeks out in frustration, "I wasn't teasing. I didn't want to tell you like this but- I needed you to know."

There's some sort of background interference, Seven trying to quiet his heart to hear it. "What's that noise?"

A soft giggle, "I'm swinging~ the swings here go so high." Once again she falls quiet, "you don't have to feel the same way, Seven. I just wanted you to know. I'll keep this quiet, I don't want my feelings to . . . _complicate_ things."

Seven muffles the words that threaten to breach his lips, the confession, the jealousy that burns on his tongue. Desperately he wants the others to know, to openly call you his, be justified in his possessiveness- _protectiveness_. It hurts more than he expected, these scorching feelings brimming within him, not being able to reciprocate her honest words. Is this _his_ fault- did he create an illusion of a man who could fall in love with a girl? He had played with fire, edging the line of affection, his soft words reaching her without thinking of the ramifications.

Before he could stop them he felt wetness, silent tears streaking down his cheeks. Angrily he wiped at them, he refused to let you hear him cry, it was selfish. There was no alternative, she wasn't allowed to see behind the facade; her infatuation with an illusion stung him horribly. Would you still love him if you knew? It was far too painful to allow a shred of hope to linger.

"Hey Seven, when we finally meet will you let me kiss you? Just once? Even though you don't love me, would it be too conceited to ask? I just-" she inhales, "I just . . . want to know what it'd be like. What my heart will do."

Heartbeat thundering against his temples, "yea, once." Seven says softly, before he can stop himself.

An almost audible smile, "thank you, good night Luciel~"

A click and Seven is left alone, still on the chilled floor. Again the tears come, how stupid, so _entirely_ stupid. Crushing his clenched fists against his eyes he sobs, he couldn't deny how he longed for that kiss. Would he be able to pull back after it? Could he go back to suppressing his feelings even once your lips were on his? He didn't think he could.

 **thanks for reading~ hope you liked it plz review if you did**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys new chapter! Just to let you know I am accepting prompts so if you have any situations you'd like to see then let me know. Love you all!**

This was something she had wanted to do for a long time, Saeyoung could tell. Of course Saeyoung was reluctant, he didn't want anything bad happening to either party. It took hours of persuading, Saeyoung praised himself for being able to resist for so long.

" _Please_ babe, I want to so bad." She had begged, tugging lightly at his hair from her spot in his lap.

Saeyoung, who despite his best efforts to remain focused on the tv, couldn't prevent the smile creeping onto his face. Here, in his arm, wearing nothing but a crop top and shorts she was utterly irresistible and he very well knew it. The sway she had over him, he'd try to deny it, but inside he realized it's depth, he had an impossibly hard time saying no to her. Sighing he pulled his gaze from the screen, looking down at her. Chin pressed into his chest, hands wrapped around his torso, legs twined with him; the image caused his heart to swell.

Shifting her weight Saeyoung sat motionless as she pressed a chaste kiss to his throat, perhaps lingering overlong. "So . . . can I?"

That simple kiss causes Saeyoung's heart to thump hungrily against his ribcage, limbs tensing. Squeezing his eyes shut, again he sighs, this time more akin to a groan.

"Alright, we'll go out tomorrow." He consented the rapid succession of heartbeats elicited by both fear and desire for the warm women in his arms.

Swirls curled at the corners of her mouth and honey irises glinted rather coquettishly, "I'm looking forward to it." Her hand finds his knee and squeezes it lightly.

The previous fear subsides and chilled fingers toyed along the hem of her shorts and other thoughts began to flood his mind and senses. Rationally, he should be scared but at the same time, with this woman, he'd do just about anything.

A mistake! He'd made a horrible mistake! The worst mistake of his life and as his toes curled, eyes watered and gut churned in agony he barely registered the laughter alongside him. It had started off normal enough, gentle curves, delicate and precise but now- the ramen they'd had for lunch clawed at his stomach with a horrendous fury.

"Yippe! Who knew these things could go so fast!" She laughed casually, apparently not at all affected as he was.

Desperate to end this torture, Saeyoung blindly reached out to grab his fiancee; do anything to prevent this from continuing. _Lurch-_ Saeyoung's numb body was pressed against the glass alongside him, bumping his nose.

"Oh, hun are you okay?" Concern now. So now she decided to worry about him, not when he was so green he feared never again would his complexion remain it's healthy parlor.

Groaning, he leaned forward, against the constraints of the strap across his chest. Such a cruel temptress, she was too much like him, hedonistic and pleasure driven- he hadn't anticipated for her to love them as much as he. _Screech,_ once again Saeyoung's body jerked forward and bile spilled across his tongue, just barely managing to swallow the acidic liquid. Suddenly her hand was on him, finding his knee as it had the night previous and giving it a squeeze of assurance.

"I'm sorry, was I going too fast for you?"

If Saeyoung hadn't feared what would spill from his lips he would've laughed. Too fast for him? _Please_ when he was alone, nothing but asphalt below him easily could he ride at 120, but with her, snappish movements and sharp corners- forget puking up lunch his internal organs might well make an appearance.

Another chatty titter, "guess I'm a bit out of practice, haven't done this for a while."

Grunting, still trying to push back waves of nausea, Saeyoung wondered if she'd _ever_ done this at all. He knew she didn't own one personally, not much point when you lived in the center of town, unlike him. But now that she'd moved in perhaps she'd want her own baby- the thought caused another surge of dizziness to stake claim on his woozy mind.

Beside him he heard her rummaging around, then something cool was pressed to his sweaty forehead. Managing to open an eye to look at her Saeyoung was greeted to pinched brows, downturned lips and a mask of worry, her arm branching the gap between them to hold the water bottle to his clammy flesh. Immediately any inkling of annoyance vanished as she gazed at him, eyes so tender and brimming with unspeakable affection.

"Feel any better?" She breathed, relieved to see he could at least hold eye contact with her. "I'm sorry I went too far, we can stop by the pharmacy if you-"

"Let's go again."

She blinked at him, confused due to the fact that he was still looking quite pale. Reaching out across the console Saeyoung took her hand in his, thumb skimming her knuckles. Attempting a weak smile, he gazed at her fondly.

"As long as I get to instruct this time."

A slow smile dawned on her face as she understood his offer and the mischievous twinkle returned to her eyes. "Sounds good! Just tell me what to do, Cap'n." She saluted him jokingly, lips quirking.

"Okay first put the gearshift into drive."

"No, really." She replied sarcastically, hands returning to the wheel and shifting the stick.

Watching her cautiously, Saeyoung spoke again, "now _slowly_ start working up speed. We're on a race track but that doesn't mean you should slam on the gas just because you can."

A roll of the eyes, foot easing at the pedal. "You're no fun." She protested, sticking her tongue out past cherried lips.

While this action momentarily distracted the redhead, he swallowed and focused on the task at hand. "As soon as I'm confident in your ability to do _normal_ driving then we can do more exciting things."

"Then we can do this more often then?!" She asked eagerly, her eyes averting from the road to glance at him.

Jumping in his seat, Saeyoung took ahold of her chin and directed it back towards the road. She was always like that, impulsive, unthinking- like a whirlwind- it rendered him speechless usually but also enthralled him.

"E-eyes on the road, please!" He huffed, pretending to be irritated but was truthfully just struck by how. now that he could keep his eyes open, beautiful she looked.

Sun shining through the window catching the reddish undertones in her hair, bringing out the freckles across her nose; it was moments like this that caught him. This continued for a long while, Saeyoung pointing out something she could improve on, her quipping but complying nonetheless. It soon became fun, a personal little game on who could banter back fastest and how as time progressed they became more flirty. Eventually she even began using car talk as innuendo which guilty Saeyoung enjoyed very much.

"Push the brake and then ease into third," Saeyoung instructed, "then use that momentum to turn the corner."

"Don't worry, cap'n. Soon I'll be using _this_ momentum to ease into third with you."

Numbly Saeyoung blinked, car themed dirty talk? God, she truly was the best woman ever. Back and forth this continued until the sun began to fall behind the mountains and both decided it was best to return home. Upon their arrival all the previous banter had left them both keyed up, clothes being shed in the foyer. In a mess of arms, kisses and giggled the two managed to make it to the bedroom, hopefully sparing poor Saeran from seeing them. In the aftermath, when both were left sweaty and delirious, she pulled herself atop him. Hair mused, mouth red and naked again he was caught, the familiar tug resonating within his chest.

"So how was my performance, cap'n? Satisfactory I hope." She whispered coyly, lazily mouthing her way from his ear to his lips.

Tenderly they kissed and Saeyoung grabbed a handful of her ass and pressed him against him harder, wanting to suck every inch of her warmth.

"Driving, I'd say 4/10 the _other_ performance hmm~"

Mockingly offended she swatted his chest, careening away from his hungry mouth. "Well if _that's_ how you feel maybe I'd better sleep elsewhere."

A vibrating grumble sounded from within his chest, securing her atop him. "Upon further evaluation, 10/10."

A laugh, "now that's what I like to hear."

 **lmao my MC is so flirty this chapter. anyways let me know what you think.**

 **3 Suicidal**


	9. Chapter 9

**So idk what happened to this when i uploaded it earlier but someone kindly pointed out in the reviews it was all fucky. so hopefully its fixed now. sorry~**

As far as Saeyoung knew he wasn't blind. Sure, he may need the assistance of prescription lenses but he wasn't blind. So then _why_ did guys constantly act as if he _couldn't_ see their blatant attempts of flirting with his fiancee. Tonight was just another occasion where Saeyoung was ignored completely as his lovely counterpart chatted and socialized with a young group of potential benefactors . . . _all_ male benefactors. He loathed these get togethers, and though she'd told him many times he didn't have to accompany her if he disliked them so much, how could he _not_ when it was like this? She was surrounded, a pale ray of light in a sea of suits and cufflinks, smiling as her apricot lips graced the wine glasses edge. It was something that Saeyoung had immediately noticed, the way she dressed for these events in comparison to what she wore around him. Slimming cocktail dresses, heels and elegant makeup only enhanced the marvellous features he woke up to each morning.

Taking another deep swig of his seventh soda of the evening Saeyoung watched as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. A single beacon caught the light, a ring wrapped around her slender finger, an _obvious_ sign of her commitment and pre established love. One would hope this was enough to ward off those hungry mongers yet it never appeared to be the case. Though they had undoubtedly noticed the ring none had taken it as a signal to back the _fuck_ off his woman. An irritable pang laced through his chest, Saeyoung massaged it away with his free hand, still scowling.

"Are you havin' lady troubles there, sir? You appear to be nursing a headache so grand you look about ready to burst."

Saeyoung blinked, turning in his stool and meeting the wizened bartender's eye. The old man seemed amused, though to Saeyoung there was nothing amusing about this situation in the slightest. Rubbing at his temples, the taste of carbonated sugar rotting on his tongue, Saeyoung exhaled loudly.

"Not lady troubles, I've got _man_ troubles." Saeyoung grunted, cradling his head in his hands.

The bartender's face shifted, but only minutely. "One of them guys hounding that girl yours then?"

Neck snapping up, cheeks colouring Saeyoung shook his head, "no,no,no- the girl . . . _she's_ mine."

"Ah~" the bartender said with a nod, "yes I could see why that would be a problem. It's always hard havin' a pretty girl because you're not the only one who'll think she's pretty."

Grumbling again, Saeyoung cast another quick glance at the ever multiplying crowd. "Tell me about it."

"But you can't just sit here ya know- whisk her away, show them you know how to do right by her. Prove there ain't nothing better than you out there."

Flushing, Saeyoung stole another glance at the girl in question. She looked happy but he knew her- that smile was forced, a smile that was reserved for these types of functions; not for him. Would she be upset if he interrupted? He'd never dared in the past. What would she say- he longed for the mask of casual calm to morph into one of excitement at the sight of himself. Chewing on his bottom lip, finishing the last swig of the watery soda, Saeyoung stood, straightening his blazer.

"Made a decision, eh?" The bartender asked, drying a whiskey glass with a sly smirk.

Embarrassed by the notion of his petty jealousy, Saeyoung steeled himself and without another word stormed over to the all-male huddle. As he got closer the discomfort on his partner's face became increasingly evident. The smile, which from a distant had looked friendly, was strained and her eyes held a faint lingering of irritation and agitation.

"So, where you heading after this?" One asked boldly, making himself heard amongst the rabble.

She hadn't yet noticed Saeyoung approach and he watched her eyes narrow, lips tightening into a expressionless white line.

"I'm going home to my-"

Pushing two gawkers aside none too kindly, Saeyoung was beside her. Immediately she was tugged to his side, ignoring her slight gasp of surprise, cutting off her sentence.

" _Fiance._ "

The crowd grew silent and then the levity of what he had just done hit Sayoung, _hard_. Grinding his teeth, he tried to suffocate the blush from his cheeks and neck. Thankfully, Saeyoung is rescued from the crippling social embarrassment he was suffering as he felt a tug on his sleeve.

"That's right, my _fiance_. Now I'm going to go dance with my _fiance_ , enjoy the remainder of the party gentlemen~" With a waggle of her fingers, a haughty grin, all whilst towing a baffled Saeyoung after her they departed from the gaggle.

Across the floor he was dragged, still bewildered by his out of character act, not to mention what was happening currently. Swallowing thickly, Saeyoung came to a full halt, her grip on his sleeve dislodging. Turning around she fixes him an odd look, monitoring his shocked expression.

"I-I-I . . ." He began, unsure what his useless tongue wanted to say.

"Thank you, I was drowning back there. You really saved me." She said softly, looking up at him tenderly.

Relief, so she wasn't upset. She always knew exactly how to disperse all his worries. Exhaling, Saeyoung reached out and took both her hands in his and brought them to his lips. Another uncharacteristic move, he planted each knuckle with a swift kiss. Honey eyes widened and Saeyoung savoured the adoration and surprise within them.

"S-Saeyoung?" She peeped, blinking rapidly.

"Did you still want to dance?" He whispered huskily.

A slow smile and a nod. "Yes, do you know how?"

Saeyoung had watched people dance, knew about different dances but he'd never once had to execute the act of dancing.

"How hard could it be?"

Giggling, she extended her hands and guided his to her hips. She was warm, supple and his heart threatened to shatter his rib cage; why was he so utterly helpless when it came to her?

Through dense lashes she gazed up at him, lower lip worried between white teeth; she was suppressing a coy smile. "Are you going to begin?" She whispered, the fingers on his shoulder skimming the collar or his suit jacket.

Skin heating, Saeyoung cleared his throat and they began their slow waltz. They likely looked incredibly foolish, there was only the faint hum of jazz as music and no one else was dancing. But just as Saeyoung could feel his embarrassment becoming insurmountable her fingers revived him. Playfully she was stroking circles into his neck with the crescent of her nail, knowing entirely her effect on him. Roughly he pulled her hips to him, her entire self flush against his chest and groin. Gasping at this action she didn't resist, instead tucking her head under his chin.

"Everyone's staring yet . . . I find I don't really mind." She admitted softly, the ghost of her breath sending goose flesh across his collarbone.

It was true, many of the benefactors and donors were looking at them with a mixture of suspicion and oddity, and for some jealously. Yet, with her warm skin against his, her heartbeat vibrating through his chest, mimicking his own he agreed- he found he didn't care. For several long moments they swayed at a near motionless pace, neither of them were dancers and this 'dance' was merely an excuse to be close to one another.

"Y-you look beautiful tonight," Saeyoung mumbled suddenly, realizing he rarely told her how spectacular she looked.

Her beauty always struck him. In the morning, when she came back from a jog, sweat clinging to her brow, neck- _chest_. In pj's, in work pants, wearing simple undies, wearing _nothing-_ he could never stop staring. Perhaps he took that for granted, he needed to voice his affections, she was good but she was no mind reader; though she came really close.

"Thank you. You're the only one who can say that and make me blush." She laughed breathlessly.

Heart racing, those words made Saeyoung ridiculously happy. It was _his_ compliments she longed to hear, not those envious suckers watching their tender embrace from across the room. Sometimes he was a simple man and he couldn't deny the pleasure those words gave him. As they slowly rotated he meet the eyes of the elderly bartender across the room, still wiping down glasses the man gave him a slow nod and a crooked smile. Offering a subtle smirk Saeyoung leaned in and took his fiancee's lips, swallowing her hiss of surprise. Pulling back he beamed down at her frozen face- they'd never kissed in front of this many people before.

"W-what was that for?" She squeaked, fingers brushing her lips, the gloss now missing from the plump articles.

"Nothing~" Saeyoung hummed. Yes he was indeed a simple man.

 **So how was it? Still want to read more? lemme know in the reviews and i appreciate you all**

 **night~**

 **3 Suicidal**


	10. Chapter 10

**hey new chapter~ accepting prompts and ideas or what you want to see!**

This was bad. He was allowed to hate himself, for many years he did just that, the reality of it never really bothered him but this . . . no _this_ was too much to take in. It started with a snide comment, one of his own regrettably, that was spoken out of jealousy and worry. She had returned late, as she had done more frequently as of late, and Saeyoung was beside himself with desperation. Even though she'd told him that day's meeting would be at one of the benefactors private cottages out in the countryside, meaning no chance to peep on security feeds, Saeyoung had tried anyways. All day he spent trying to worm his way into personal home security feeds, or the cameras installed in the chauffeur vehicles she'd be riding in to no avail. In fact he'd ignored his own work completely in an attempt to track her down; he was unaccustomed to not seeing her for long periods of time. Not to mention that her cellphone was seemingly out of battery or she were in a no-service zone for she'd neglected to respond to any of his text messages. In truth he was beside himself and as each minute passed his aggravation and irrational frustration swelled. Saeran, who was almost entirely normalized to his brother's oddly possessive behaviour was even slightly taken aback. When he came in to tell him he'd be going out with Yoosung and Zen in a while Saeyoung barely paid him any heed.

"Oi, did you hear what I just said-" Saeran grumbled, eyeing his brother as his fingers worked speedily at his keyboard.

"Be quiet for a moment would ya?" Saeyoung grunted in response, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture, screen glare reflected in his lenses.

Frowning deeply, Saeran crossed his arms over his chest, glancing at Saeyoung's phone beside him, the screen on and displaying a dozen unreplied to messages. This fact only caused Saeran's grimace to deepen, so this is what had his brother so wound up.

"Didn't she say she'd be out of service today? She's probably just busy." Saeran pointed out, wondering if he could chance to leave his brother alone like this.

Saeyoung's lips tightened, going white. She _had_ said that but _all_ day? Was she just avoiding him? Was she trying to hide something and therefore turned her phone off to avoid his messages? Poisonous and toxic doubts began to flood his senses and he couldn't stop the grinding of his teeth.

Sighing, Saeran rubbed at his brow and leaned against the wall alongside the computer. Though he had many of his own insecurities and issues Saeyoung's could become highlighted so easily when it came to her, almost everything he valued boiled down to her existence.

"Try to get some sleep, idiot. She'll be home before you know it." Saeran instructed, not really knowing what else to say in this situation.

Saeyoung didn't respond, munching on his lower lip as he continuously typed away at his abused keyboard. Departing reluctantly, Saeran shot Yoosung and Zen a quick text, perhaps it'd be better to keep an eye on the situation after all.

The moon was high in the sky by the time Saeyoung heard the familiar ping of the front door being opened, the security system signalling with her personalized chime. In his chair, Saeyoung sat frozen. A million contradicting messages barreled throughout his mind-confront her? Kiss her? Scold her? Get angry? None of them seemed to fit his current whirlwind of emotions. In the hall he heard her talk to Saeran, he couldn't make out the words but the sound of her voice acted like a balm. Yet, just as he felt himself physically calm, the pent up and heated thoughts of previous sang hot fury within his mind. Fingers curling around the armrest of his chair, Saeyoung sat stoney and still.

Finally the door opened and a beam of light was cast across the dark room. The shuffle of her tired feet followed by her voice. "Saeyoung?"

Surely she was confused, he almost always greeted her at the door so this coldness was unusual. And despite his heart crying out joyously over her return his mind, still riddled with insecurities, turned against his true feelings. Flicking on the lights, he couldn't dare to look at her yet, his heart thudding precariously.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly.

That was the trigger. The simple phrase was the light to the dynamite of pent up worry and concern that had brewing all day. Turning in his chair, eyes colder than she'd ever seen them, expression icy. He took her in before he spoke, her hair mussed by wind-someone's hands perhaps? Blouse crumpled and sat upon her thin figure crookedly. Immediately, Saeyoung's mind leapt to the worse possible scenario, vivid images of her tangled in sheets with another. He tried to suppress them but the venom was already inflamed.

"Where were you?" He asked calmly, the evenness of his voice surprising in contrast to his tumultuous thoughts.

She blinked at him owlishly, cocking her head. And then he saw it, a purplish mark across her neck- his blood ran cold.

"It's been a _long_ day, after work I was-"

"Stop!" He barked, knuckles whitening as they increased their grip on the chair. Here the excuses would come, the lies, he didn't need to hear them. Every nerve in his body was chilled and a gluttonous pit had blossomed in his gut.

Hurt flickered across her face, brows knitting together. "Saeyoung, what's wrong with you? I was just-"

" _No!_ " He yelled this time, spit flying from his mouth in rage. "I don't want to hear whatever nonsense you've made up! I now know where your loyalties lay . . . with your _work_." He snarled, lip rising over his teeth animalistically.

"Saeyoung I-"

"So what's his _actual_ name? Surely it's inconvenient to refer to him as 'work' all the time. 'Going to have dinner with work' doesn't quite sound right." Saeyoung mocked tersely, voice rising and falling in uneven pitch.

Then she understood, face crumpling as if someone had dumped a cold bucket of water atop her.

"You think I'm cheating on you." She whispered mutely.

"Hmph, you're just getting that now?"

Silent tears, leaking over her cheeks and down her neck. "I can't believe this-I need to-" She never finished running from the room.

Saeyoung watched her, body still wrung with envy so foul his head felt near bursting. The chime of her code was heard again, signalling her departure. He watched her run into the rain, her yellow jacket disappearing from view of the feeds. Though his entire body screamed to follow he steeled himself and exhaled heavily, realizing he'd been holding his breathe. Suddenly Saeran burst into the room, face twisted with anger.

"What did you say to her, dumbass?! What the _fuck_ did you do?" Saeran was yanking him from his chair in moments, hot breath on Saeyoung's face.

"I pointed out the truth." Saeyoung muttered, dangling in his brother's iron grip.

" _What_ truth?" Saeran thundered, fingers curling in Saeyoung's sweater.

"Her cheating on me, the bruises-"

All of a sudden he was released and a fist came crashing into his cheek, knocking Saeyoung back into his chair. Looking up in shock, holding the offended cheek, Saeyoung gapped cluelessly.

"What the hell-" Saeyoung began.

"You're so _fucking_ stupid! She got _mugged_ on her way home you idiot. She couldn't message you because her phone was stolen! She spent the last few hours at the hospital for a fractured wrist! "

Dumbly, Saeyoung's mind began running frantic circles. "But I thought-"

"Well you _thought_ wrong! Now she's out there in the rain with no cellphone, no money and no way to get ahold of her."

"W-why didn't she say anything . . ." Saeyoung croaked, fear lacing through his chest.

"Did you even let her _talk_?! She probably _did_ try to say something."

Recalling their previous engagement Saeyoung realized each time she tried to explain he'd cut her off . . . _what had he done_?! Hands flying to his hair, Saeyoung felt his heart capsize within his chest, palms becoming clammy.

"W-what did I do?" He sobbed, tears glazing his eyes, misting his glasses.

Hissing, Saeran yanked viciously at his brother's arm. "Stand up, you piece of shit! We've gotta find her! Think! Where would she go?"

Stunned into silence, Saeyoung thought of places she'd might go. Visions of them visiting cafes, museums and shops together flooded his mind; then a sick realization- besides work she rarely went anywhere without him. He had no clue where she'd go on her own.

"I-I-I don't know." Saeyoung muttered blandly.

Grunting, Saeran lifted Saeyoung to his feet. "Well then you'd better go out and _look_ for her. I'll monitor security feeds and let the other's know-maybe she'll go to one of them."

Body still stiff from the horrible realization of the situation, Saeyoung nodded dumbly. "I'm going-" he panted, sprinting towards the front door, socks gliding across the concrete.

Punching his code into the security panel, throwing the door open Saeran called after him.

"Put some shoes on! And bring an umbrella!" He commanded, then in a quieted mumble, " _god_ , he's so hopeless."

Too busy to even respond, Saeyoung did as his brother told him, throwing on a coat, runners and snatching her umbrella from the closet. Then into the rain he went, barely remembering to close the door behind him.

The first two hours, hopping from train to train, searching all the bus routes he knew she took regularly, was useless. Saeran called him at intervals of every 10 minutes, equally frustrated with the lack of traces she'd left.

"Dammit! Everyone owns a yellow rain jacket." He hissed into the reciever, "with her hood up she could be impossible to find."

"Don't say that," Saeyoung snapped, eyes frantically scanning the subway stop he was approaching.

"Whose fault is this anyways?" Saeran said back bitterly, the familiar clack of keys static background noise.

Again, for the hundredth time in the last two hours, Saeyoung was greeted by the chilled swoop of unmeasurable dread. Saeran was right, his idiocracy, petty jealousy and most crushingly his lack of faith in others had tarnished everything. Could she forgive this? He had basically called her a _whore,_ a glorified tramp, that thought stole the air from his lungs.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?" Saeran asked, annoyance just barely masking his concern. "I just spotted a yellow jacket a station over; they were heading to the shopping district. There is a bridge between here and there."

Suppressing the panic soaring within his heart and mind, Saeyoung refocused on the situation at hand. He can beg for forgiveness later, first he had to find her. Eyeing the approaching station Saeyoung leapt into action, pushing past other riders to get near the doors. As soon as they opened he was running, wet sneakers making horrible squelching noises across the tiles. Up the stairs he went, reaching the boulevard. To his dismay it was surprisingly busy, drunk patrons and large groups of businessmen leaving the bars and crowding the street. Lungs hammering, unused to this strenuous activity, hands on his thighs, struggling to catch his breath Saeran's words came to him-a bridge? Glancing over the busy street once again, Saeyoung decided there wasn't any yellow rain jackets here. Shoving past the masses of people, weaving in and out of the groups of passerbys he made his way to the bridge. In the downpour visibility was restricted but as he came up the street the arches came into view.

Squinting into the sleet, he saw it! A pale golden halo, in the middle of the bridge, flanked only by the surrounding darkness. Heartbeat bounding out of is ribcage, Saeyoung moved as swiftly as his legs allowed him. When he was a few feet away from the hooded person he heard a soft sob and every inch of him froze.

Though it was dark he knew immediately it was her. She hadn't noticed his approach, how could she while she bawled into clenched fists. Shoulders quivering, black pants caked in mud, shoes barely even recognizable, his heart snapped. This was his fault. Shakily he crept towards her, one hand extended as if she was a phantom, able to slip between his fingers any moment. Tongue dry his hand finally found her shoulder. Instantly she twitched from his touch, eyes squeezed shut, mascara staining her cheeks.

"D-don't touch me!" She yelped.

"I-it's me." He breathed brokenly, wounded by her reaction. His offered hand hanging in the air, fingers trembling.

At the sound of his voice, her eyes flew open, all the color draining from her cheeks. "Saeyoung?"

The wobble in her voice crushed him, his throat becoming sore as tears ached to spring. "It's me."

A cascade of emotions played across her face, the pinch of hurt, the set-jaw of anger then finally the expressionless mask of concealed agony. Each one of these sent a shiver down Saeyoung's spine, each one tempting him to yank her against his chest and apologize fervently. But would she allow it? Allow him to touch her now- or ever again?

She spoke first, as Saeyoung was unable too. "What are you doing here?" It was a simple question but also one that had many implications.

By saying those words she was also asking why had he come looking for her- if she was a cheater as he claimed- what was he doing here? Saeyoung knew this and the seemingly simple question caused his chest to ache.

"I-I . . ." he inhaled, reading himself. "I came to beg for forgiveness." Saeyoung fell to his knees, jeans instantly soaking in the rainwater.

"Saeyoung . . ." she whispered through her fingers, gazing down at the man whose nose was now pressed to the ground. "Saeyoung, please stand up-"

"I can't!" He replied fiercely, bowing his head further. "I'll stay on my knees until you forgive me. Beat me, curse my name, tell me to die- _I don't care_! Just _please please please_ forgive me."

Red hair a muted crimson against the tar nightscape, water droplets dripping down his neck, back, face- he was desperate. He prayed for her to accept him, even if things could never be the same- all he wanted was to remain in her life. The thought of never seeing her again made his stomach churn, bitter bile filling his mouth.

What happened next Saeyoung could've never anticipated. To her knees she fell, crawling over to his hunched form and wrapped her arms around his back. Nose pressed to his shoulder, tears mingling with the rainwater she sobbed.

" _Oh_ Saeyoung- _oh_ Saeyoung," she chanted brokenly, hiccuping through her wails. "I don't want to hit you, curse you and I _especially_ don't want you to die! I just want you to _trust_ me!"

Every nerve in Saeyoung's body became electric and his heart became a thundering crescendo within his chest. Her simple confession robbed him of every rationality he had, and his soul yearned for her touch-her love. Forcing his paralyzed limbs into motion he pulled her into his lap, sitting crossed legged with her body pressed against his chest. Then with fervent vigour he kissed every tear staining her cheeks, then peppered her brow, then _finally_ met her lips. Her breath became his as they embraced, rain falling down around them. Saeyoung knew he wasn't good at being honest, his tongue lacked the ability to act truthfully most of the time- but his lips- he hoped they would do the trick. After many prolonged moments he gently removed his mouth from hers, the searing heat of their kiss the only warmth in the rain.

"All I said before . . ." he began, pushing her bangs from her forehead. "I said it because I'm a horrible stupid, idiot."

A tentative smile, he'd never been so thankful to see her happy face before.

"I know. Now should we head home? I'm not sure about you but I'm feeling rather cold."

Beaming, Saeyoung nodded. "Here, I'll open my coat so I can hold you while we walk."

Welcoming his embrace, they both stood and began making their way back to the train station the rhythmic pulse of rain continuing it's shower around them. Saeyoung struggled with many things but he wanted to trust the beautiful, delicate women in his arms. By god, he wanted that more than he'd wanted anything before.

 **hope you enjoyed! please tell me if you did!**

 **3 Suicidal**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello! new chapter! please enjoy~**

 **BTW THIS IS A NSFW CHAPTER. IF YOU DONT LIKE SEXUAL CONTENT DONT READ PLZTHANK**

As the chorus of the cello and the clamour of plates being cleared resounded throughout the banquet hall Saeyoung realized something . . . he was _bored_. Boredom was never good, it ruined his productivity and spoiled his mood, making him cranky and irritable. Perhaps it was a side effect of being a genius, mundane situations bore him and soon he found himself craving excitement. You were across the room, talking idly with Jaehee and Yoosung, nursing a glass of wine as you did so. The breeze from the open windows tickled your hair and the ice blue of your dress contrasted against the paleness of your flesh. You were the picture of elegance, hair knotted into a low bun and sparkling gems adorning your ears. Seeing you like this reminded Saeyoung of how much better he liked you _without_ any of those things, naked, atop him as the waning moonlight caught the amber in your eyes. He always longed for you, your presence and your warmth, he loved you unconditionally, a truth his hammering heartbeat quickly reaffirmed. It was then, his blood pumping vigorously through his veins, that an idea occurred to him- a rather _wild_ idea.

Moving across the room towards you, adrenaline hissing through his system, he found a balm for his boredom- a sticky heat swelling in his gut. Soon he was by your side, hand coming to rest on your hip.

"Heya Seven," Yoosung greeted, "whatcha been doing this entire time?"

"Probably avoiding the benefactors, Luciel was never fond of these events." Jaehee added, taking a sip of her own wine. "No opportunity to unleash his odd brand of humor."

From your place in his arms you giggled, "Saeyoung always manages to make any situation entertaining. Even these boring gala's."

Your compliment warmed his cheeks, a pleased heat flushing his face. "Leave it to God Seven to put a smile on your face."

Both Jaehee and Yoosung chuckled in response; the conversation continuing but Saeyoung had tuned it all out. His gaze was fixated on your neck, the diamond earrings you were wearing were casting fragmented rays of light across your throat. Oblivious to his heavy staring he watched at your tongue poked out to swipe across your bottom lip, then the top; the wine stain vanishing. Saeyoung felt his head swell, the fingers on your hip growing damp. The ideas in his head were ferociously loud, whispers of remembered caresses, moans and wails deafening. Tearing his gaze from you Saeyoung's eyes shifted over to a door leading to an adjoining balcony. Draped in heavy window coverings and thick enough to muffle any sound his heartbeat soared, his mind hazing in lustful clouds.

Once again you drew his eye, as you tucked a single strand behind your ear, which had fallen out of your bun. This action, though innocent, set his flesh aflame. For before you withdrew your hand your forefinger trailed down the side of your neck, from lobe to clavicle. As you did this your finger traced over a small blemish, a small purple splotch from nights prior. Saeyoung remembered bestowing the mark upon you vividly, his teeth raking your throat as those same fingers curled in his hair. This action likely wouldn't have affected him so if it wasn't for the subtle look that accompanied it. Your finger circled the mark once, twice, three times before falling away, but as your hand fell to your collarbone your eyes found his. They were twinkling, teasingly and filled with mirth- issuing an unspoken challenge. Saeyoung gulped and he realized what must happen next- their daring escape. Hooking his arm around your waist, pulling your flush to him, he spoke.

"Sorry guys I'm not feeling too well-might need some fresh air." He explained hurriedly, "will you come with me, hon?" Saeyoung asked you, his voice raspy and coarse.

You smoothed the smirk that threatened to rise down, "of course we'll be back soon."

With no pause to hear their response, Saeyoung practically dragged you across the hall, his breath coming out it quick pants. Opening the balcony doors you stepped outside first, him discreetly closing it behind you, making sure the drapes were drawn. The slight chill in the air caused gooseflesh to break out across your arms, folding your arms against your chest in defense of the cold. Slowly, Saeyoung turned to you and it was then _your_ blood that heated. That look, one he only showed to you, a devious quirk of the lips and the hooded expression was now a familiar one. In the recent months the two of you delighted in frequent intimacy, thrilled by the touch of one another. It took a long while for Saeyoung to open up about his sexual desires, he feared scaring you away or repulsing you with his needs- it was quite the opposite in fact. Saeyoung had told you early on he could be somewhat _sadistic_ , yet at the time you thought he was merely joking . . . now you _knew_. He was a rough lover, quick and hungry and sometimes selfish, he fished for moans and would tease you to the point of exhaustion. It was like bedding a wild animal, fast and ravenous and you _longed_ for it. Under his gaze, his honeyed eyes dark, you're exactly where you wanted to be.

"That was pretty dirty of you," Saeyoung said, barely above a whisper, "were you trying to tempt me?"

"Yes." You said matter of factly, from the moment he had made his way over you'd wanted this.

Again his eyes flashed, and the sly smile grew. "I'm glad you did. Saved me the effort of seducing you into the idea." He stepped forward, hands gripping your hips and pressing you against the balcony ledge.

Already you could feel him through his slacks, the ghosting of a bulge growing. You loved the effect you had on him, and as your core grew damp you realized you also _loved_ the effect he had on you.

Letting him maneuver your body so it fitted against his, your knee rubbed two brief circles into his groin, savouring his hiss. "You could still seduce me . . . I'm not opposed."

Leaning in, his tongue flicking your earlobe he whispered against your temple. "You're not opposed? _Hmm_ , lemme see what God Seven can do."

A trail of wet open mouthed kisses followed, following your jaw, then dotting your throat before pausing at your sternum. From between the valley of your breasts Saeyoung's eyes met yours, gazes connected as his nose ran the rim of your covered nipple. Gasping you felt your knees become buttery as he mouthed you through the silk of your dress, his light teething sending delicious shivers down your spine. Furthering the sensation his slender fingers began to cup you, tweaking and rolling. Even through the fabric you could feel him, his eager mouth soaking the your dress. The taboo nature of being nearly in a public setting wasn't beyond you either. The thought that if you moaned too loudly, made too much of a scene, someone could come out and see you . . . it was rather exciting.

Distracting you from your thoughts Saeyoung sucked hard on your breast eliciting a sharp mewl from you, hands shooting to his shoulders- balancing yourself.

"Careful babe, do you want people to hear us?" Saeyoung murmured, though the tug of his lips was evidence of his enjoyment.

Furrowing your brows in mock annoyance you steeled yourself, you weren't going to lose this unspoken challenge. Saeyoung was often like this, he'd bait you to receive a satisfactory result. Cheeky bastard.

"You'll have to do better than that," you panted, chest rising and falling rapidly. "I'm barely warm yet."

Saeyoung's eyes widened marginally, amused by your boldness. Licking his lips, his hands ran down your sides before cupping your bottom, surveying the round orbs.

Drifting south his mouth nibbled at your hipbones, lavishing them despite the cloak of fabric.

"I guess I'll have to try harder then." He breathed, pinching and groping your ass, handful after handful.

Before you could retort his hands fell from your bottom and began hiking up your short dress, pushing the material out of his way. Inhaling sharply as the cold air graced your panties your knees began to tremble. Chuckling throatily, Saeyoung's tongue ran a tantalizing slow track across your pantyline. Shuddering you're fingers curled in his suit jacket, trying to support your melting body. Saeyoung worked torturously slow, biting your inner thigh then retreating to your navel, back and forth his mouth went. Each piece of skin seemed to hold his attention, you could never guess where he would ravish next. The ache between your legs heightened as he continued to ignore where you needed him the most yet you refused to relent. Saeyoung was as stubborn as they came but you were too. Writhing under his relentless touch your eyes snapped shut as his hand gently rubbed your aching clit.

Hissing your legs gave out, using the railing as support. Long fingers traced your slit, never quite reaching where you needed to be reached. It was agony and by now your panties clung to you, soaked with desire.

"S-Saeyoung please~" you huffed, cracking an eye to glare at him in agitation.

Again he licked his lips, mouth so close to your core his breath could be felt. "Please what?"

He was goading you, another thing he did often. Half of Saeyoung's personal enjoyment was derived from your reactions, he longed for your shrieks of ecstasy, almost more than his own.

Groaning your shaking hands reached out, lacing in his hair and brought his mouth to your sex. "Eat." You commanded simply.

A devilish cackle, his scorching tongue trailing along your dampened panties. "Now was that so hard?"

You ignore his chidings as he finally gave you what your entire body screamed for. By now his tongue knew how and where you liked it, shuffling your panties to the side as he sucked on your clit. A low wail, the wet sounds of suckling as he drinks you. Soon you're not the only one moaning, Saeyoung's own eyes falling closed as he enjoyed your heady taste. It's mindblowing, how wanton you become when his tongue is within you, nose parting your folds as you bite back screams. You know you're close, his previous workings had you riled up and your body yearned for release. Toes curling and fingernails digging into his coat you thrust your hips into his diligent mouth and that's enough. This time you're unable to suppress it, a low howl falls from your mouth as Saeyoung's ruthless tongue continues past your climax. Eager for your release, his mouth doesn't leave you, winning a prolonged orgasm. Your entire body slackens and you hardly notice as the railing digs into your back. Humming contentedly, Saeyoung's lips find yours and the lingering taste of yourself on his tongue rouses you.

"I suppose you won." You murmur, adjusting your dress and panties. Wishing you had a mirror so you could see how truly disheveled you appeared.

"This time. Maybe at the next party it'll be your turn." Saeyoung says, straightening his tie.

"I think I'm up for the challenge." You grin, not wishing to return to the party.

"Good, but remember I'm a sadist. It'll be hard to break me." Saeyoung informs you, fingers lacing with your own as he tugs you to your feet.

"We'll see about that."

 **So there it was? did you like it? more nsfw? never write nsfw again? lemme know**

 **3 Suicidal**


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